From Reactive to Intentional: A Leadership Reset Framework

As I write this North Texas is getting ready for a “once-in-a-lifetime” cold weather event to come through this weekend. As my wife and I were discussing our emergency plans in case we lose power, I was thinking about how frequently we are reactive instead of proactive. Knowing days in advance about a major storm makes it easy to be proactive and plan for worst case scenario, but in so many other places in life we are completely reactive to problems, playing firefighter just to keep things from going completely up in flames. 

Most people don’t wake up intending to be reactive. They don’t plan to spend their days responding instead of choosing, going from one emergency to the next instead of making meaningful progress, or feeling like they’re always a step behind their own intentions.

It just… happens.

Most leaders are very busy. Managing meeting requests, projects, budgets, quality control, new initiatives, you know the routine. But then something breaks. A client isn’t happy. A key player on the team quits.

By the time you notice you’re reacting — to emails, to conversations, to pressure, to whatever is loudest in the moment, it’s too late to be proactive. Not because you’re careless or unskilled, but because reactivity is what happens when there’s no pause built into the system.

This isn’t a personal failure. It’s a design issue.

Why Reactivity Becomes the Default

Reactivity thrives in busy environments because it feels productive. You get a hit of dopamine “feel good” when you answer questions quickly, and shift from one task to the next without thought. The problem lies in that reactivity doesn’t distinguish between what’s urgent, and what’s important. It pulls attention toward whatever is closest, loudest, or most emotionally charged, or whatever is making the most noise. 

Over time, this creates a subtle shift:

• Decisions get made under pressure instead of with clarity
• Patterns repeat because there’s no space to interrupt them
• You become responsive, but intentionality is missing

And the more reactive things feel, the harder it is to slow down — because slowing down feels irresponsible when everything seems to need attention.

Intentionality Is Not About Control

When I started my training in the fire service, the most common phrase I kept hearing is “Slow is smooth, and smooth is fast.” I’ve kept this mantra since I first heard it, and it is even more impactful in leadership than it was then, struggling to get into bunker gear in under 60 seconds. 

When I say that phrase, I don’t mean you need to grind operations to a halt, or over examine each part of a process, what I mean is to be more intentional. “Being more intentional” often invokes being rigid, more disciplines, or better self managed. That’s not what I mean here.

Intentionality doesn’t mean controlling every outcome. It means creating enough pause to choose how you respond instead of defaulting to habit.

Reactive behavior is automatic.
Intentional behavior is selected.

The difference between the two isn’t willpower.
It’s space. 

A Simple Reset: From Reaction to Choice

The reset from reactive to intentional doesn’t happen all at once. It happens in small, repeatable moments where you interrupt momentum just long enough to decide in what way do you want to take intentional, Conscious Action.

This isn’t about fixing everything, or making sure everything gets done in the middle of the overwhelm, it’s about shifting how you meet what’s already there.

Here’s a simple way to think about it: Reactivity lives in immediacy. This fire needs to be put out, that proposal needs addending, we need to hire the next candidate that applies, etcetera. 

Intentionality lives in sequence. When everything demands a response now, the system collapses into urgency. When there’s even a small structure for when and how things get addressed, choice comes back online.

What Keeps People Stuck in Reactive Mode

Most people stay reactive not because they like it, but because there’s nothing in place to interrupt it.

Common traps include:

• Responding as things arrive instead of at chosen times
• Making decisions in the moment instead of in designated windows, or by dedicated frameworks
• Letting emotional intensity determine priority
• Carrying everything mentally instead of putting it somewhere external

None of these are character flaws. They’re predictable responses to environments without dedicated pause points.

The Role of Structure in Becoming More Intentional

Structure isn’t there to manage behavior, it’s there to create breathing room and support for when things get hard, or don’t go as planned.

When structure is present, you don’t have to decide whether to slow down — the system already has a place for it. Decisions don’t compete with everything else because they have a container. Reflection doesn’t require effort because it has a rhythm.This is where intentionality becomes sustainable instead of aspirational.

Without structure, intentionality depends on remembering. With structure, it becomes part of how things move. 

INQUIRIES: To Explore Your Reactive Patterns

These are not questions to answer or resolve. They’re questions to sit with, ideally in conversation with someone else. There’s no solution you’re aiming for, just the value in noticing what shows up.

Where do I most often feel rushed, pressured, or pulled into response?

or

What tends to decide my priorities when I don’t consciously choose them?

Let these questions stay open. Pay attention to what repeats. Reactivity leaves patterns behind if you’re willing to look.

ACTIONS: To Interrupt Reactivity

Choose one.

Notice What Gets an Immediate Response
Over the next few days, pay attention to what you respond to immediately and what you don’t. Emails, messages, requests, conversations. Don’t change anything yet — just notice what pulls you fastest.

That pull is information. 

Identify One Place to Slow the Pace
Choose one area — communication, decisions, scheduling — and intentionally add a pause. Not forever. Just enough to notice the difference. It might be waiting to respond to an email, or requesting time to make a decision after a request. 

Even a small delay can change the quality of response.

Name One Default Reaction
Pay attention to one situation where you already know how you tend to react. Name it to yourself before it happens again.

Awareness doesn’t stop the pattern, but it creates space around it.

PRACTICES: To Build Intentionality Into the Day

Choose one and repeat it.

For one day each week this next month, delay your usual response time to requests. Give yourself at least double the usual amount of time before you respond. Be sure to keep your team in the loop so they don't expect an immediate answer. The messages can wait, the decisions can be paused. Nothing needs to be resolved in that window. Use the time to let your sense of urgency pass. On the day you do this, make notes about what you noticed from the practice. 

At the end of the month, share with your team what insights opened up as a result of spending extra time making the decisions.

Or

Each morning for two weeks, pick one priority task and spend the first hour of the day working on it before responding to anything else. Don't let yourself get sidetracked in those 30 minutes. Share the priority with one person or group. Notice what impact this has on you, the task, and the rest of your day. 

Why This Matters

Reactivity isn’t a problem to eliminate. It’s a signal.

It shows you where there isn’t enough structure to support the way you want to live and work. Intentionality doesn’t come from trying harder. It comes from designing your days so you don’t have to rely on effort alone. The goal isn’t to control the day, it’s to meet it with choice - Conscious Action. 

And that starts by building small, reliable pauses in how you move.

Alex Bednar is an Executive Coach specializing in Leadership Development. Connect with Alex at www.AndreaBednar.com for more insights on conscious leadership and operational excellence.