When There is No One Right Way to Feel

How are you?

Are you still staying in? Are you venturing out? Have you been in the midst of rioting? Do you have a job? Have you been protesting? Are you angry about the looting? Are you still homeschooling? Have you hugged your grandma recently? 

The world has turned upside down. Or maybe inside out. Or maybe veils have been lifted. I do not know. 

I’ve been thinking about what to feel and what to say. How shall I use my voice during this time? What, if anything, would make a difference?

How outraged I am.
How disappointed I am.
How incredibly sad I am.
How anxious I am.
How grateful I am.
How hopeful I am.
How fearful I am. 

I am all of that all at once. 

And, there is no one right way to feel. 

It doesn’t matter what your social media feed says you should feel - while it matters how your friends and family and co-workers feel, it may not be how you feel. Don’t adopt it if it isn’t yours.  

What you feel, what you are experiencing, is your own. 

Now is the time to sit with, and sense into, what you feel. What is present for you? What is your experience, right now?

Don’t jump on any bandwagons until you know - without any doubt - how and why you feel the way that you do. 

If you skip this deliberate and choice-full step, all you’ll have is reaction. Reaction is one of our least effective capacities. You won’t be acting consciously, you’ll be acting reflexively. This won’t be you at your best. It won’t be you with the contribution you want to make, it’ll only be reactivity acting out. 

Sit down with your journal, or with your eyes closed, or with a group of people who want to sense into the reality within themselves.

• Examine what is there for YOU.
• What do you sense in yourself?
• Are you angry?
• Do you want to weep?
• Are you confused?
• What is present?

 When something snags your attention, stay with it. Sense into the experience that snagged your attention. Sense deeply into anything that comes up during your exploration. Let yourself follow whatever you are shown or whatever you feel. Keep sensing into your experience. Stop when you know you are at the full measure of what is available for you right now. 

Then thoughtfully consider:

• What actions are appropriate for me to take? Hug my grandma? Go to a protest? Cook food for my family? Read a book about the history of racism? Run for political office? 

Do not wait to do this. Do this now. Now is the only time we have. Thoughtful, conscious action is needed now.

Whatever you choose, know that you chose from your structural integrity (which must be based in reality and in presence to have integrity in the moment) - doing what you know is right, when you know it’s right, and in the manner you know is right. 

Wishing you peace - even with choices that are hard.