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How Do You Listen?

communication conscious listening relationship

How do you listen to others?

Listening is so habitual for most of us that we don't examine it.  Some people believe that if you can hear, then you know about listening.  

Well, sort of... but not really. 

What if you wanted to become more conscious of how you listen? How would you wake up to how you listen to someone or something?  

You'd start by asking questions - by observing yourself and inquiring into what you observe. What shapes how you listen?

The environment?

Who you are listening to?

Your mood?

Your education?

What you might know about the topic?

If you are in a hurry?

If you don't like the person you're listening to?

If you aren't feeling well?

You can see that the nuances and the variances are probably infinite. You can see that each of these might dramatically change how you listen to someone. And, oddly (given how much impact they have), we pay little mind to all of these variances. 

When your are considering what shapes how you listen, do this one thing.

Observe yourself. Don't change anything just yet. Start noticing how you listen and how your listening changes depending on environment, mood, who, how, etc. What shapes how you listen? For what are you listening?

Are you listening for information? Are you listening for confirmation of your point of view? Are you listening because you're already sure what they will say, listening for them to confirm what you already know?

This week listen to your listening. Observe it as if you are a scientist, doing an experiment on yourself about how you listen. Consider what impact all of this has on your experience of communication, understanding, and connection with other human beings. 

Have a great week.

Andrea

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