The Goldilocks Zone

Hi everyone, this is the final episode of our structural integrity series. Today, we'll work on the next piece of the integrity puzzle. 

Structural integrity: doing what you know is right (and what you'd said you do), doing it when you know it's right, and doing it in the manner you know is right. 

So today, let's talk about the Goldilocks Zone.

I first heard about this analogy from Theo Dawson, founder of Lectica (no affiliation). She was talking about setting up learning goals based on the Goldilocks Zone - not too hard, not too soft, but just right. A perfect analogy to set yourself up for effective, sustainable growth.  

When you're designing learning, it's important to set your goals, your practices, your actions in your personal Goldilocks Zone. If they are too soft, you'll validate what you already know and not experience growth. If they're too hard, you give up, or you fail and you don't experience the growth that's available. 

How do you raise your game in life and uplevel your structural integrity to match? You challenge yourself just beyond your comfort zone in the areas where growth would make the most difference for you - right into the Goldilocks zone. 

Pick topics that are aspirational for you -- areas that that would fulfill your intentions. Warning: we have a tendency to either avoid committing (because we're afraid of failure) or to set up a goal that's way outside of the zone and then beat ourselves up for not being able to achieve it.

Once you have your intentions, start playing! Create practices. Experiment. To support your structural integrity, you must also create structures and accountabilities for these experiments (see past blogs about how to do that).

It's true that when you start playing in these new areas you'll likely be out of integrity in the beginning. The practices aren't habits, you haven't set up your life to accommodate the experiments, and your body doesn't quite know how to move to fit the new growth -- but that's okay because you're learning. You're building new muscles that will be in structural integrity once you've practiced enough.   

This is a good thing. If you are always in integrity, you aren't playing a big enough game!

Create your experiments and your practices in your Goldilocks Zone. Not too hard. Not too soft. Just right.  You'll need adjustments as you learn so your practices don't become too soft.

Once you've designed the experiments for your growth, start by challenging yourself for one week to do these new practices. Just one week at a time. "I'm going to be in structural integrity about these practices for the next seven days."

At the end of the first week, ask yourself, "What did I learn? Where did I fail? Where was I successful? What impact, if any, did those practices have? What tweaking, if any, needs to be done in my practices? How can I be in structural integrity with the revised practices for another seven days?"

Follow that process until the month is over. That way, you have 30 days of fully experimenting with your Goldilocks practices.

Pro Tip: When you begin your body may give you some interesting insights. Notice them.

You'll only hear these insights if you're listening - that's why it's critical to check-in weekly. Because you're operating in unfamiliar ways, your body is sending new messages to your brain.

Your brain may say, "Oh, I see why I haven't done this before! It doesn't feel natural." Or, "This feels like the time I was humiliated for X," or other feelings/thoughts associated with doing the new activity.  "I can feel the fear/anger/confusion/discomfort that comes up when I try to talk to five people a day about my new business," or, "I can feel how uncomfortable this is but it is the right path." Or, "These new practices that I was certain would fix my issue don't help at all. They make no difference and they aren't right." Or, "I now see that instead of starting something, I need to think about stopping something." Or you may see a story that you've believed to be true about yourself begin to unravel. 

You will learn so much by putting in new practices and doing them. You'll learn about yourself, about effective practices, and about the impact on your intentions.

Thinking about what you ought to do is not the same as doing it. Thinking and doing are two very different activities. Thinking feeds and keeps recycling the thoughts that go round and round in your mind. Doing gives you real and immediate information to learn from.

That doing will give you the experience you need so your mind can help you evaluate and learn from your practices. It will also open you to seeing the beliefs you have stuck onto the old and new actions that limit you from accomplishing your goals. 

What is an area of growth you are committed to? An area where you are intending a result that requires challenging yourself? Is it outside of your comfort zone just enough?

Once you have your area of growth, create practices to support your learning. I recommend you create three or fewer practices to start. Practice them for a week. What happens? What do you learn? What results, if any, do you produce?

This week play and experiment in your Goldilocks Zone with topics that are important and matter to you.

Let me know what happens in the comments!

Have a great week.

Andrea